OK, This is Seriously Funny

Do any of you remember the impeachment trial of Bill Clinton? As soon as he realized that he was going to be impeached, Clinton hired a man named Gregory Craig to be the head lawyer to defend him. I know this was a long time ago, but some of you may remember Bill Clinton on a video conference, under oath, testifying before Congress. A Congressman asked the question “Mr. President, is it true that you had sex with Monica Lewinksy?”

Bill Clinton said that it was not true.

Later, after consultations with Mr. Craig, Bill Clinton was asked by a US Senator “Did you knowingly lie under oath before Congress?” To which Bill Clinton responded, “Looking back on that question, I guess it depends on what your interpretation of the word “is” is.”

That was one of the funniest moments in presidential history. And the architect behind it, the man whose theory of defense in an impeachment trial was to duck questions and pull the wool over the eyes of the American public by asking what their interpretation of the word “is” is... that was Gregory Craig.

Barrack Obama announced today that Gregory Craig will be the White House Counsel. He is going to be the head lawyer for the Obama Presidency.

Is change coming? I guess it depends on what your interpretation of the word “is” is. 

If the crap hit the fan and Obama didn't know what to do, who would he call???

A lot has happened in the world during the two weeks since the election. Here is a short and incomplete list:

1) Terrorists have launched at least 45 rockets into Israel. Some of those rockets were more sophisticated than any that they have ever shown in their arsenal, and quite obviously came from Iran. Israel retaliated with at least one bombing campaign into the West Bank. Tensions are running at their highest point in this area since Israel’s incursion into Lebanon a couple of years ago.

2) Russia has deployed Inter-Continental Ballistic Missiles to the borders of it’s European neighbors, and threatened to launch a nuclear attack against Poland for cooperating with US Missile Defense plans.

3) Russia is sending an entire naval fleet to the Caribbean for military exercises.

4) Russia is sending air defense supplies and training personnel to Cuba. By the way, this is exactly what they said they were doing in the ’60’s, when they actually sent nuclear weapons to Cuba and pointed them at Washington, DC and other cities along the US East Coast.

5) Venezuela has threatened to deploy a tank battalion to the streets of it’s second largest city if the people who live there do not vote for the communist candidate for mayor in the next election.

6) Iran has tested a new missile capable of delivering a warhead full of WMD’s to Central Europe.

7) Iran has threatened to take military action against American military personnel that come close enough to it’s border to make them feel threatened.

8) Obama has been given classified briefings from all sections of government in regards to the state of all current threats against the United States and our allies.

We all know that Obama has no experience whatsoever in international affairs, and he is facing a lot of challenges in the world. When he was given the classified briefings, he undoubtedly felt the full brunt of the pressure that Presidents actually have to face. So, he placed a phone call to someone who he knew would no how to handle these situations correctly. He called someone of impeccable character, who he knows will give him the best advice, even if they do not always agree politically. He called a man who he knows, no matter what, would always put the needs of America above his own. The two set up a meeting for this coming monday. Who is he meeting with, you ask? John McCain.

Even Obama knows the voters got it wrong this time.

How Would Martin Luther King Feel About Obama?

It seems as though every time I see a news segment on TV reflecting on the recent election, it ends the same way. In a crowded park in Chicago, a bunch of people are huddled up. They are all weeping and wishing aloud that the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was here to witness the election of Barrack Obama.

So, I asked myself, how would MLK feel about Obama? The answer is pretty clear. MLK believed in judging a person by the content of his character, not the color of his skin. So we must ignore the fact that Obama is black.

We do not yet know a whole lot about Obama’s character, but we know enough to that I can point out a few major areas of disagreement between him and MLK. When Obama was a State Senator from Illinois, there was a debate over a bill that dealt with children who survived an abortion attempt. The bill sought to have doctors provide medical care for these children. That does make sense. A baby outside of the womb is a person, and it seems like most medical laws would require doctors to attempt to save the life of a person. But there was a loophole in the state abortion laws in Illinois that required the doctors to deny treatment to these babies. There is a touching story of a nurse in an abortion clinic who found a live baby in a trash can in the broom closet of the clinic she worked in. She tried to talk to doctor into treating the baby, but the doctor refused. So, she held the baby in her arms for three hours until the baby died. 

When the bill was debated on the floor of the Illinois Senate, only one person rose to speak in opposition to it. You guessed it, that person was Barrack Obama. He was asked about this in a Presidential Debate, and insisted that he did not support the bill because it was redundant with federal laws. Not only was his explanation factually incorrect, but if you read the transcript of his speech on the floor of the Senate, you will see that he argued adamantly that a woman’s right to abortion on demand in the state of Illinois meant that the child was to die, wether they were born alive or not.

Another serious problem comes up with Obama’s relationship with William Ayers. For those of you who do not know, William Ayers was the founder of a group that blew up buildings and killed people around the time of the Vietnam War. Mr. Ayers has admitted to personally placing bombs that blew up at the Pentagon and several Army Recruiting Stations. Members of the group that he founded and led were responsible for the assassinations of police officers, government officials, and members of the military. Mr. Ayers even authored a book dedicated to Sirhan Sirhan (Robert Kennedy’s assassin) in which he made a plea to the youth of the nation to “rise up and kill your parents”. He also urged them to kill those in position of authority. Mr. Ayers was arrested and confessed to his crimes, but the charges against him were thrown out on a legal technicality. Seriously, I’m not joking.

Anyway, Obama and Ayers have a long and storied history. To be fair, the extent of their relationship is disputed, but the existence of it is not. Obama sat on at least three different boards with Mr. Ayers, and they met in private on at least two separate occasions.

Now, back to the original question. How would Dr. King feel about this. Well, certainly MLK would not support someone running for office who thinks that babies should legally be allowed to die in trash cans after they born although they are in a clinic with a doctor. In regards to Mr. Ayers, one needs only to look at the relationship between MLK and Malcolm X. MLK and his followers believed in civil disobedience, with the key word being civil. They did protest for civil rights in America, but it was always their goal to do so peacefully so that no one was hurt. Malcolm X, on the other hand, supported the violent overthrow of the white government. Dr. King responded to Malcolm X by refusing to meet with him.

Dr. King would have demanded that if Obama was on a board with William Ayers, Obama stand up immediately and let the rest of the board know that he would not serve on a board with Mr. Ayers. The board would be forced to choose between the two.

Dr. King would not have supported Obama because he would have been able to look past the color of his skin and see how flawed his character really is. It is time for people to stop invoking the name of Dr. King when talking about Obama. I think MLK is in heaven right now, shaking his head at those people in Chicago for taking everything that he worked for so out of context.

Obama's First Change: His Mind

Well, it’s been over a week since the election, and we have finally seen an indication of change brought on by Mr. Obama! What has he changed, you ask? His mind!

During the course of the primaries, Obama stated many times that the current regulations allowing for domestic warrant-less wiretapping need to be scratched because he believes that they are a violation of Constitutional rights. Obama even brought up this issue in the general election in order to distance himself even further from George W. Bush.

But yesterday, it was announced that Obama will keep the wiretapping program. This message was sent out without explanation. Could it be that Obama has changed his mind about the Constitution in the past week? Could it be that Obama has learned of new threats during his briefings from the CIA that scared him bad enough that he no longer cares if he thinks that the program violates the Constitution? Or could it be that Obama was deceitful about his views from day one? Only time will tell, as I am sure that we will see a lot more of this type of “change” in the weeks and months ahead. It appears to be the only type of “change we can believe in”.

Obama Attacks an 87 Year Old Woman

During his first press conference, Obama took the time to personally attack Nancy Reagan in a way that was not only personal, but factually incorrect. Obama was asked if he had talked to the former President's since the election. He said that he had talked to all of the living ones but didn't want to "Get into the Nancy Reagan seance in the White House thing."

What in the world was he talking about? It is widely known that at least two First Lady's in Presidential history had seances in the White House in order to try to connect with dead leaders. The first was Mrs. Lincoln, who modern historians nearly all agree was bipolar and possibly pschyzophrinic. The second was Hillary Clinton. I'm not sure why she did this, but hey, it was her right to do so if she wanted.

However, everyone knows that Nancy Reagan didn't do anything of this sort. It is widely known that when the Reagan's lived in California, she befriended a lady who was a professional astrologer, and that while in the White House, she often called her old friend to ask her what the stars looked like for the day. But that is a long way from a seance to contact the dead.

So, here we have it. Only one press conference, and Obama has already attacked the character of the most beloved living Ex-First Lady in a way that is completely false. Looks like change is on the way!!!!!

Obama's First Broken Promise

Only two days after the election, Obama made his first broken promise to the American people. Mr. Obama had hundreds of "volunteers" who walked the streets of Indianapolis, Indiana, trying to spread the word to go vote for Barrack. In reality, these people were not volunteers, they had been promised gift cards worth up to $500 for their work. When they showed up on November 6th to pick up their gift cards...no one was at the campaign headquarters.

Several hours later, after being called by the police, some staffers did show up. They explained to the people that they did not have the gift cards that they were supposed to have, and that they MIGHT get one in the mail, but even if they did, it would be for less then half the amount they had been promised.

I have an incredible feeling there will be many more broken promises in the months ahead!

Rohm Emmanuel - A Man Who Doesn't Believe in Change

So, here we are, at the end of a completely disastrous presidential election cycle. The people were forced to choose between John McCain, whose political ideology is extremely difficult to pin down, and Barrack Obama, a man who gave no clues as to what his political ideology is. Faced with a media that refused to report actual facts and ask questions about the past of Mr. Obama, Americans were forced into a vote that was more like a bad episode of American Idol than anything else in presidential history.

But Mr. Obama won, and congratulations to him. He ran on a platform of change. The single greatest thing that he revealed about himself in the election is that his name is not George Bush. So, we actually know very little about Mr. Obama. However, we can begin to put some things together based upon his recent pick of Rohm Emmanuel as his chief of staff.

In order to understand this, we must know the nature of the job of chief of staff. Mr. Emmanuel will have an office through which anyone who wishes to enter into the oval office and speak to the president will have to pass. They will tell Mr. Emmanuel what they want to speak to the president about, and it will be Mr. Emmanuel's decision wether or not they get their meeting. Since the president really gets his news of the world from meetings such as this, and forms his policies upon these meetings, they are critical to the success or failure of any presidency.

Now, about Mr. Emmanuel. He is famous for three things. First, he got into a disagreement with a member of his own staff, and after that staff member resigned, Mr. Emmanuel mailed him a dead fish. Thats right, a rotten fish corpse, via the US Postal Service. Second, Mr. Emmanuel was an advisor to President Clinton, helping him to formulate his policies. Whenever Congressional Republicans would request a slight change in posture from the Clinton Administration, in order to find common ground and pass a bill, Mr. Emmanuel's favorite saying was "Fuck the Republicans." Needless to say, this did not support an atmosphere of bipartisanship. Third, there was a major incident the night after the 1996 election that goes down in history as one of the most bizarre moments in political history. The Democrats gathered for what was supposed to be a victory celebration. But instead, in the middle of their feast, Mr. Emmanuel stood up with a steak knife and began listing the names of Democrats who he thought had betrayed the President in some way. After every name, he yelled the word "Dead", and plunged his steak knife into the table. Mr. Emmanuel was escorted from the dinner by security and forced to pay to replace the table that he ruined.

After leaving President Clinton's staff, Mr. Emmanuel was named a member of the board of directors of Freddie Mac. He resigned from the board after Freddie Mac was involved in several scandals including alleged illegal campaign contributions and accounting fraud. Just before he resigned, a government body with oversight over Freddie Mac accused the board of directors of "failing in its duties" to investigate the accounting errors.

There is a lot more to be said about Mr. Emmanuel, from the fact that he was the congressman who opensecrets.com reports as receiving the most amount of money in the 2008 election cycle from hedge fund managers, to the fact that his father was a member of an organization called Irgun, which was responsible for several bombings in the palestinian territories (imagine that, Obama being connected to someone who was a terrorist), to the fact that he is a long time supporter of the redistribution of wealth.

At any rate, I would like to congratulate Mr. Obama for naming Mr. Emmanuel as his new chief of staff. It is just one of the recent signs that "change" was merely a campaign slogan which will go unfulfilled.